Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
