it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
