We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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