I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
