I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
