That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
