don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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