But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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