was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
