none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
