Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
