Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
