Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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