i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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