the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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