i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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