I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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