so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize