She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
my penis made a compromise with my morals
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize