We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize