Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
