why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
