You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
