You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize