Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Randomize
