Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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