I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
