have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
