Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize