Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
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And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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