I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
