Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
