She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is Oprah even human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The Olympian is in my bed
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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