Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
As shirtless as possible
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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