Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize