Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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