I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize