please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
