that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
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would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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