Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
