We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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