dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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