just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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