dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
