at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
