girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
