She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
