I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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