its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
