He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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