I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
