Princesses don't give blow jobs
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
