do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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