I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
