I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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