woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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