Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
