Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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